What is a Bonenkai Year end party? To answer that, we need to first look at the Japanese characters (忘年会). It is basically a “Forget the Year Party”, though not in a “We had a crappy year, let’s pretend it didn’t happen” sort of way. It has more of a “Let’s finish this year and get ready to work hard next year” type of meaning.
When is Bonenkai season
These Year-end parties are usually held in November and December, and many people attend multiple party sessions.
They are usually with Office coworkers or Close friends. And if you are a member of a group, like say if you regularly play baseball on the weekend with a team, you will get invited to their Bonenkai party as well.
This means that depending on if you actually like parties, these Year-end party events can either be fun, or can become quite tiring and expensive!
Many of these parties are also held on Friday night after work, so those hangovers won’t affect anyone’s work the following day.
How much does it cost
If it is an Office Bonenkai and your company is paying for it, nothing of course. But sometimes, the company or boss will pay a fixed amount, and the employees pay anything over that amount.
However, if the Bonenkai is organized by the company employees themselves, then the bill is split equally between everyone attending. This is known as warikan (割り勘) in Japan. Some people go all out and eat and drink whatever they want, which works out to be great for them. But I personally have found this to be a little annoying at times. I have had experiences where I wasn’t hungry and only had maybe 1 drink and picked at 2 or 3 dishes, and ended up paying about 4,000yen.
But I would say generally, the amount per person is between 4,000yen to about 7,000yen. So having at least that amount of cash in your wallet is probably a safe bet. Oh, and having at enough cash for a taxi back is probably also a good idea…you know, just in case you miss the last train.
Where are Bonenkai parties held
Izakaya
The vast majority of Bonenkai parties are held in Izakaya pub restaurants. These are casual restaurants where patrons generally either sit at tables or at tables on tatami mats. And because they are tables on tatami mats, shoes must be removed at the entrance and placed into shoe lockers.
Yes, people will be able to see your stockings and socks, so make sure there are no rips or holes in them!
And if you are going directly from the office, you might want to make sure that you have a fresh pair of socks or feet deodorant or something. I mean, you don’t have to, but you wouldn’t want to eat next to someone with stinky feet, would you?
Restaurants
Many small groups also like going to normal restaurants. This can be more expensive because unlike Izakayas, there aren’t All-you-can-eat (tabehoudai) or All-you-can-drink (nomihoudai) menu options.
Home
And if it is a Close friend Bonenkai, they are often held at someone’s home. Potluck parties aren’t really huge in Japan, but many people do bring alcohol. So if you don’t want to risk feeling awkward and uncomfortable the whole night, it’s probably best not to turn up empty handed.
What happens at a Bonenkai Year end party
First of all, repeat after me.
“What happens at a Bonenkai party stays at a Bonenkai party“
Alright, now that we have gotten that out of the way… 😉
At the start
The boss or the organizer usually starts with a speech. The theme is very much a “Thank you for all your hard work this year” and “Let’s work hard and do even better next year” type of speech.
Then the food and drinks are served and the party begins.
During the party
If it is an Office bonenkai, people tend to start with the usual polite conversations, and the usual keigo (polite Japanese ) is used.
Oshaku – the pouring of drinks for others, is also the done around the table. This is pretty standard at any drinking party in Japan, so the usual rules apply. 1. Don’t let people pour their own drinks 2. Return the favour.
These bonenkai year-end parties tend to go on for about 2-3 hours so people can get pretty drunk!
It is not uncommon to see people carrying their drink and moving around the table to chat and exchange ‘cheers’ with multiple people. It sometimes reminds me of the game musical chairs.
If you have heard stories about salaryman loosening their ties, tying them around their heads and really just letting their hair down, this is true. This is when keigo can go flying out the window, and where rank can matter less… just for one night.
One word of caution though! There are people that will take offence, so it’s sometimes safer to err on the side of caution.
At the end
Once the bill has been called (or paid), the boss or organizer will usually close the party with a sanbonjime (三本締め). This is a clapping rhythm that all Japanese are familiar with and the claps happen in quick succession.
3 sets of ‘Three quick claps and one to finish’, so like (3-3-3-1), (3-3-3-1), (3-3-3-1).
If this sounds confusing, just do what everyone else does! You can’t go wrong!
After
At this point, those that want to leave would usually either have already left or would be saying their final “Otsukaresama desu”.
But those that still have it in them, go for the second part of the Bonenkai Year End party – the Nijikai (the second party).
Karaoke!!
By this time, everyone is usually good and truly drunk, so ties come off, tambourines come out and the jumping on sofa dances begin.
This can last for a few hours or until the next morning.
You have the weekend to nurse your hangover, feel human again, and start the next week with a bright and chirpy “Ohayou gozaimasu”.
And remember, What happens at a Bonenkai party stays at a Bonenkai party!!
Star
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