Some say Japan is full of the weird and wonderful, and some talk about how traditions, beauty and maintaining harmony is so important in this society. And they are all right. But what does this have to do with peer pressure?
The answer is “a lot”.
Personally, I see this in action on a daily basis, and sometimes wonder if people notice it too. No one seems to say much about it, but I think this is a big part of living here.
What is peer pressure?
But let’s start with a definition. Internet results define it as the “influence wielded by people of the same social group that makes the person in question want to do something because it is valued by the group”. So basically, it is when the person has a need to feel accepted by his/her social group.
Where does peer pressure happen?
Well, everywhere they are people obviously. But here in Japan, this is something that can be seen, noticed and felt in most situations, if one is observant and aware.
From schools, to workplaces, to trains and buses. In parks, and in department stores, and in hobby groups.
For example, if you look at what how people behave in gyms, like how they sometimes bring a small towel to wipe sweat off the machines and floor, or the style of attire, or even how loudly they talk, it is quite evident that not everything was their idea, that they may have felt pressured to do what everyone else was doing.
When is peer pressure a good thing?
Positive peer pressure is when people feel the want to do better. They feel encouraged to do well and strive for better results.
How peer pressure keeps people in line.
Here in Japan, I notice that this is often one of the motivating factors for people. The reluctance to stand out and ‘rock the boat’, and the want, or maybe need, to fit in and be accepted often means that people can be kept in line this way.
For example, in a workplace, if the other team members are working on the project or tasks, and people seem happy enough, it will usually be enough to convince the person that all is well, and that they should continue doing what they are doing, the same as everyone else.
And if you look at what people wear in the office, I think you would agree that is not always related to personal taste in fashion.
In Spring, beige trench coats are everywhere. In Summer, hats and straw bags. And then in Fall, all the rich fall colours appear and then solid colour down jackets in Winter. And of course, trends change every year, but these don’t ever seem to go out of fashion – because everyone else wears them too.
When is peer pressure negative?
Obviously, this is when peer pressure makes the person want, or need to engage in behaviours that can have negative results. This could be smoking for teenagers, or complaining in the office for adults.
Complaining and gossiping is common in every country, it is definitely not specific to Japan, but I find that the complaining here also involves getting other people to not only listen, but to agree and voice similar opinions.
How peer pressure can lead to conflict and bullying
There is a well-known phrase “nakama-hazure” here, and it means to not involve someone, or treat them like a non-group member. Like to make someone an outsider, or make the person something of a social outcast.
This, in my opinion, is bullying. It may not be the ‘throw someone’s lunch away’ or ‘slam the person against a wall’ type of bullying, but making a person suffer psychological pain through acts of exclusion IS bullying.
Some ways foreigners in Japan deal with it
I think for those ‘fresh off the boat’, they tend to try to read the room, do what everyone else is doing, and try to blend in. I know I did! I learned to arrive at the office and greet those present with “ohayo gozaimasu” and start internal emails with “otsukaresama desu”. I found myself wanting to wear certain stockings with designs, but looking around to see if anyone else was wearing them first – basically to see if they were acceptable or not.
But we cannot continue to be someone we are not, and don’t get me wrong, I understand the whole ‘Do as the Romans do’ logic, and believe that there is a time and place for it. But once people have a couple of years of living in Japan under their belt, they usually feel more comfortable not always being cookie-cutter perfect, if you know what I mean.
And after a few more years, they have probably learned that they will never truly ‘fit in’, and so rather than try to convince people that they are ‘almost Japanese’, they learn the value of being a foreign national in Japan. The language skills they possess, the fact that they have knowledge of overseas systems, the knowledge of how to be respectful of the ways things are done here, but to understand that the locals have pressures placed on them by society, so cannot suddenly go against the grain. This experience, knowledge and confidence, is how foreigners can deal with peer pressure with grace.
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